Zula

4/5 stars

Compared to other OTR restaurants, this place is Zumongous. Of course, the tricky part of size is to still make it feel packed; to still have that energy. It doesn't quite have the Bombay subway-energy that Bakersfield has, but keep in mind that it's also more than twice the square footage of Bakersfield (or as the kids text these days, "BKRSFLD.") With that in mind, I was quite impressed that Zu-la-la-la was filled on a Wednesday.

I was also impressed that little ol' OTR has room for TWO mediterranean wine bars. Since Abigail St was my first, she'll always hold a special place in my heart, but Zula does offer a slightly different angle. For one, consider that Zula's menu length is closer to a Cheescake Factory's than to a fortune cookie, which is about the extent of text on most other OTR menus.
Also consider that your various dishes will be served by a multitude of waiters at a multitude of times. They must have some system whereby whoever is in the kitchen at the right time should serve the dish immediately while it's still piping hot. And as the Pied Piper of temperature*, I was extremely appreciative of this service. They're also slightly better than Abigail St at serving the dishes in a logical order (fries first, etc). And since the delivery times are staggered, no dish sits and gets cold; that is, every child gets its fair share of love; that is, no child left behind; that is, I'll shutup now. 

*I don't know what that means either

The food I tried:

Eggplant fries - I would highly recommend these. I remember commenting, "How did they think to put powdered sugar on eggplant?" to which my friend responded, "You put powdered sugar on a flat tire, and I'll at least TRY it." 
Lamb Moussaka - pretty good, but not as good as the Lamb Sliders at Abigail St, which I think is top 5 dishes in Cincitasti. 
Yellow Fin Tuna Crudo - The concept of "Cold" Plates was already a turnoff, but we felt obligated to try at least one since the section occupied a fair portion of the menu. Moral of the story: listen to your heart and not your eyes, and nor your face. 
Thai Mussels - I'm no mussel connoisseur, but my gut told my tongue that these are top tier. With that said, I did get the sense that they made the mussels in bulk, then dropped them in whichever sauce you ordered, a page right out of BW3's Wing Flavors 101 (class I took in undergrad). 
Bulgarian Feta - This is phenomenal. Again, it felt like it had been brought out within milliseconds of coming out of the oven, and my happiness escalated within milliseconds of coming into my mouth.
Panna Cotta (dessert) - Better than the other dessert we tried, but not as good as Jiffy Jello.

No further comment.

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Durum Grill

5/5 stars

This place was highly recommended to me, so I made the journey to a place where no unmarried man has gone before: Suburbia.

It was well worth the journey. My go-to for casual Mediterranean has always been Chicago Gyros, but that Gyro King has been dethroned. 
Maaake waaaay for Prinnnncee Ali* and Durum Grill.
I went at an odd hour (330pm on a Saturday), but I've heard that Durum has a line out the door during weekday lunch. So I was quite surprised about the nice size of the place. 

And I was pleasantly surprised by the tastiness of the food.
It's not greasy like Chicago Gyros, which is the Five Guys of the Middle East. 

I first had the Lamb Doner Kebab. If you've ever met me, you know that lamb gives me a (rhymes with doner). This doner was delectably delicious. 
Then I treated myself to a Chop Chicken Salad, which should make other restaurants ashamed of themselves, they're doing it all wrong compared to this one.

The guys who work there are super friendly and eager to help, which makes it easy to make me smiley. Three thumbs up for customer service (counting one big toe). 

In summary:
1) Get the Doner Kebab
2) Get another Doner Kebab

*Every Gyro review deserves at least one Aladdin reference

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Sotto

4/5 Stars

When I asked our waiter, who looked like Dave Matthews but talked like Mitchell from Modern Family, what the difference was between Sotto and Boca, his exact words were:

"Boca is a very formal crowd, Sotto is a more casual and livelier crowd."

I can't imagine what Boca's clientele looks like, because most of Sotto's patrons looked like they went to kindergarten with Betty White.
With that said, let's talk about more relevant restaurant topics, like food.

Actually, let's start with drinks:
Get the Amalfi.

Ok, now on to food:
Similar to people's confusion between alligators and crocodiles is my life-long confusion with prosciutto and bruschetta. No pneumonic device in the world can help me remember, so when it comes to ordering, I tend to order wrong.
We ordered the Goat Cheese/Honey Bruschetta and the Fried Zucchini with Feta. We ordered wrong.
Luckily, our waiter also accidentally brought us someone else's Polenta with fried egg. Someone else ordered very right. If you like tasty things, you'll LOVE this.

For the main course, our waiter explicitly said that only their pastas are worthwhile, so we explicitly listened. But buyer beware: trusting waiters is tricky, since we don't know anything about their tastes or habits or maiden names.
Based off his recommendation, we ordered the Short Rib Capellaci, the Pennette Vodka, and the Trenne con Rapini (nonconsentual pasta). The Short Rib Capellaci was definitely the best, but if I had to live life again, I wouldn't have unequivocally trusted his suggestions.

Luckily, he won my heart back by giving our birthday girl a complimentary dessert - Chocolate Budino. 
This was the second-best dessert we tried (out of two), only to the Banana Tiramisu. Though the serving dish makes this dessert not fit for the messy adult, its deliciousness will drown out the sound of any spillage. 

If you have questions, sorry, those are all the answers I have. Enjoy!

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Kung Food Chu’s AmerAsia

4/5 stars

This quirky chinese restaurant takes drinking seriously, which I respect a lot in in my non-driving food establishments.
After finding the huge binder of beers underneath the table glass, our waiter stopped by and asked if we needed help.
Me: "We're looking for the most amount of alcohol in exchange for the least amount of mo---
Him: "Anderson Valley Brother Davids Triple. 10%. $6."
Me: "I'll take 3." 

That's the last thing I remember. 

Just kidding - the food is also very tasty, though the menu can be tricky to follow. Both waiters were servicing us at the same time, so we asked them both for their opinions, which allowed us to calibrate for human error. I'd recommend you do the same.
The Dragon's Breath Wontons are ferociously tasty AND named after my favorite chinese mammal. Huge bonus.
The Matt Chu's Special is what would happen if Colonel Sanders ever tried making Chinese food. 

This restaurant as a whole is "Kung Fu" themed, but they also have a "Kung Fu Panda" poster on the wall, which tells you how seriously they take themselves. This would be like if Delta tried to promote flights to Africa by mass-emailing their customers a trailer for Madagascar 4. 

If you're looking for pretty good Chinese food, craft beer, and NYC quirk, then Amerasia is your dream come true.

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Alfio’s Buon Cibo

3/5 stars

Alfio's is in the spot that was previously occupied by Poco a Poco.  For those of you who don't know which spot I'm talking about, google it. For those of you who don't have google, #whatareyoudoingwithyourlife

Now on to the part that may actually affect your culinary choices. 

FOOD
To me, this is always BY FAR the most important part. Here's what I tasted/heard reactions about from friends:
1) Fried Zucchini with Goat Cheese and Pesto - very tasty. But then again, if you're frying something and it's NOT very tasty, then #whatareyoudoingwithyourlife
2) Herbed Goat Cheese Ravioli - for those of who notice things, you'll notice that Goat Cheese is a buzz word when I narrow down a menu. But a GC* appetizer followed by a GC* entree is more GC than most baby goats produce annually.**
*Goat Cheese
**National Geographic
Also, the edges were harder than I prefer. I don't know if that means they were undercooked or overcooked, but according to anything, it means something. 
3) Bruschetta - we got half and half of the Bruschetta dish listed on the menu with the Sausage Bruschetta dish listed as a special. The Sausage Bruschetta is, indeed, special; the vegetarian counterpart is more like a Cheese Bread, but an easy crowd pleaser. 
4) Skirt Steak with Argentine Relish - I didn't try this personally, but my friend said this was his favorite thing he tried. And he's what I would call a "foodie."
5) Argentine Chili - both of the other people at my table tried this and neither commented one way or the other. Take that for what you want.

DESSERT
Out of the Deconstructed Crème Brûlée Bonbon, Nutella Pie, and Zuccotto Cake, your best bet is with the Creme Brulee or the Nutella Pie. But I've told you before and I'll tell you again: if you're using Nutella as an ingredient and your dish is not phenomenal, then #whatareyoudoingwithyourlife

WHAT I LEARNED
1) I should get the Seafood Canneloni next time. I was eyeing it for a while, but made a slip of the tongue when it was my turn to order. "It's ok," I keep telling myself. "Mistakes like this build character."   
2) You may have had this conversation with yourself before going to Alfio's: "Argentina and Italy? Those countries don't share a border, let alone a chef." I learnt that the chef's grandparents and parents are from Italy, but he himself grew up in Argentina.
3) Meeting the chef makes it hard to not like a restaurant.

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