Tucker’s Restaurant

4/5 Stars

Tucker's is in an "urban" part of town, yet the in-restaurant patrons were all descendants of Caucasia. Neon's is in a similar neighborhood and also attract this same demographic; however, their patron demographic can be explained by their music (classic rock, which is kryptonite to the uhh urban crowd).  My point is, I don't have a good explanation for why Tucker's, which is in a predominantly African-American neighborhood, has only white patrons. It doesn't really matter; I just like to have a reason for everything, and if you have one, send it my way.

More important than crowd color is, of course, food flavor. I can only vouch for the French Toast and the Turkey Sausage, as those are the only dishes my mouth tasted. Both were delicious and cheap (French Toast = $5.99, Turkey Sausage = $2.50). Keep in mind that this price range doesn't buy you quality ingredients (Pure Maple Syrup, Ketchup w/o High Fructose Corn Syrup, etc); it does buy, though, a satisfying brunch.

You may also be interested to know that our party of 2 arrived at noon on a Saturday and were able to sit immediately. But we got the last open booth, so that may have been lucky.

My favorite part was seeing that Mr. and Mrs. Tucker (the owners) were doing the cooking themselves. It was like seeing Steve Jobs behind the Apple Genius Bar, except better.

Read the Original Post

Abigail Street

5/5 stars

Note: my restaurant ratings are derived from the following formula:
Tastiness - 100%
Service - 0%
Patron Attractiveness - 0%
Attentiveness to Water refills - 0%

You do the math.  
I was with a table of 6, and shared all dishes. Below, they are ranked in terms of tastiness (to me):

1) Seafood Paella - this isn't listed on their online menu, so don't know what it's exactly called, but if you ask for the "seafood paella dish" they should know what you're talking about. It's phenomenal.
2) Lamb Sliders - it makes sense that this dish is so tasty at a restaurant targeting  middle eastern food for americans. Middle East is the world's best for lamb, and America is the world's (only) for sliders. We ended up getting 2 more orders of this dish.
3) Grilled Octopus - who knew you could make Octopus sausage? Abigail Street did, and they did it very well. 
4) Mozza Dani - again, these people know their lamb, though, this dish was a little too sweet for my taste buds. The meat, still, is extremely well cooked.  
5) Pan Roasted Cod - I call this a middle eastern fusion restaurant, but they prefer the term "mediterranean" (it's comparatively similar to the difference between "midget" and "little people"). Anyway, Mediterranean is a sea, which means there's fish in there, which means this dish is delicious (though not the best cod you'll ever have).
6) Gnocchi - tasty and fresh, but again, you can find better gnocchi elsewhere in the city
7) Chicken Dish - Not listed on online menu, so don't know the exact name, but this genre of restaurant is not going to specialize in chicken.  

Don't be discouraged by the dishes bottoming out my rankings; they're still of very high quality, just not the best things that this restaurant has to offer. Everything they brought out was piping hot and had just been placed in the serving container - as a former waiter, I can respect how hard it is to time this right. They brought each dish out as it became ready instead of bringing it all together, which ensured there was no dish left behind for the cooling gods to abuse. 

One more thing to note - we got there at 620pm on a Saturday and waited for an hour for a table even though there was nobody in front of us on the list. We were told that most tables had JUST sat down; when planning your arrival, consider typical times that people go to eat, so you can time your meal in between table rotations.  

Abigail Street - be mine?

Read the Original Post

Ludlow Bromley Yacht Club

4/5 stars

The Ludlow Bromley Yacht Club is already one of my favorite places in Cincinnati, and I've only been there once.  When you want to show out-of-town guests (who are not from poor-rich river towns) something they haven't seen before, take them to the LBYC.   

First of all, the LBYC was packed on a Sunday, which is rare for any place in Sabbath-Savoring Cincinnati. Granted, there just happened to be a "Bikini contest" happening, but that seemed to only appeal to those interested in both bikinis AND contests; this mainly meant older men with traveling wives. One thoughtfully yelled to a scantily-dressed contestant, "Your mother would be proud of you!" Maybe that was her father yelling. 

The real charm about this place, though, comes from the contradiction between its concept and culture. When you think about yacht clubs, you imagine sweater vests, white pants, and umbrellas in martinis.  When you get to THIS yacht club, you see white beaters, cut-off jean shorts, and buckets of canned beer. Class Class Class. 

For food, I had the Grilled Ham and Cheese, which was good, but no Tom+Chee.  It's best food put forth is probably its burgers, but I didn't have a chance to try them.
There were no drink specials, but a bucket of CANNED coors light was $12, and that was priced at retail. 

It's super casual, very cheap, and sits on a bouncing dock at river level. LBYC is far from the highway, though, so if you're coming to check it out, you've committed for the night. That'll be just fine, as you long as you bring your overalls and your fun face.

Read the Original Post

Nicola’s Ristorante

Original Post: 3/5 stars

Before you go searching for the two missing stars from my rating, take into consideration several backstories before reading further:

1) I've been to Nicola's ONCE, and it was for Restaurant Week. That means my menu options were limited to several items from the regular menu, and none of these choices necessarily resembled anything I would have ordered had I had unlimited menu access.
2) For my main course, I had the Tagliatelle with Bolognese. I can count on my fingers and palm hairs the number of times I've eaten beef in my life (due to religious reasons), and almost always the occasion has been unavoidable. However, as Chris Rock says, "When Judgement Day comes, I refuse to believe that my diet will come into question." And a place like Nicola's must be making their own pasta, so I had test the difference that made from my own Meijer pasta adventures.  Still, my stomach and pallet has not been acclimated to the taste of beef.  

These backstories also serve as the backbone of my review, but since you've been so patient, I'll share some comments on the other dishes I tried:

CAPRESE SALAD - extremely fresh ingredients. Unfortunately, fancy restaurants don't list their menu items by weight, so the quantity is not going to win you over. Also, I'm not typically a salad person, but I fell sucker to the waiter's recommendation.  
DIVER CAUGHT SEA SCALLOP - I usually think scallop is too squishy to be succulent, but I tried a bite from a friend's place, and must say, that was the best-tasting and best-cooked scallop I've ever tasted
TIRAMISU - very delicious, but rarely have I had bad tiramisu. The ingredients make the execution almost fool-proof. Trying to make terrible tiramisu is like trying to make a sloppy smoothie - as long as you follow the recipe, it's going to be tasty.
VANILLA PANNA COTTA - so fresh, so clean

I will say that the service is AMAZING, like to a level that is typically seen at a hotel rather than a restaurant. When it's time for a course to come out, a separate waiter comes out with each individual's dish, but the waiters all come out together and place the dish on the table at the same time. And they're all in black. It's like synchronized swimming meets the swat team meets Nicola's fun house. 

However, the middle tier of menu items from Nicola's IS NOT tastier than top-tier Olive Garden selections. Nonetheless, it is a romantic place to take a date if your date likes medium-good food.

A Tavola Bar and Trattoria

Here's how I would rank the pizza places in town:

Never mind, it doesn't matter - A Tavola is head-and-shoulders above all. Sure, there are flaws in the experience, but there are no flaws in the food. Let's break down both, do the math, and then give you directions:

The Bad
1) There's always a long wait. But when a place is delicious, other people are going to notice too.
2) The Arugula salad is an artistic entry into the minimalist movement, and I don't want any food that I'm paying top-dollar for to be prettier than it is tasty. Also, I only ordered this because my two friends did and I didn't want to get jewed out of food when we split the bill three ways.  Also, salads are stupid.
3) There are large speakers, but low-volume music. It's like the sound is using its six-inch voice in a nightclub.  

The Good
1) The eggplant pizza is so so so ....so good.  The eggplant itself is of a flavor that I've never tasted before, but now want to taste always and forever.
2) Sausage  + Panna is also so so so so good, especially if you like sausage on your pizza. And not liking sausage on your pizza is like not liking ketchup with your fries. Hey, it's yo' life. 
3) The bill was separated amongst who ordered what instead of just splitting it evenly. This means I didn't have to order that stupid salad after all.  

When I go again, I'll definitely make sure to put down a name after work then wander about Washington Park and the like before going in for the kiln kill (so the wait doesn't feel as long).  The wait is certainly a negative, but that doesn't negate the fact that the food is so freaking delicious. If you don't like delicious things, don't come here. Maybe then I can get a table quicker.